How to Stop Thinking About Someone

Did you ever find yourself constantly thinking about someone? What did they, said and how were you affected by their actions?

We can easily focus for hours on a situation that hurts us, our kids, or someone we care about, gossip behind us, or acts in a way that confuses us. While doing dishes, driving, or walking our dogs, we keep thinking about the person’s unkind, untrue, and self-centered comments. Their image and words keep coming back to us. They are in front of our eyes, no matter how far we’ve been from them physically.

we are not talking about how we handle trauma or abuse. These situations require professional intervention. Talking about the daily interactions that we have with other people that can leave us mentally sputtering is what I mean.

How do we stop getting caught up in the thoughts of others? How do we stop thinking about other people or situations? 

Maybe it’s not even about the person. It could be about what you got and didn’t get, what you have or don’t have, or what’s not right in your life. You often feel that someone is to blame for what is wrong.

All of this toxic cyclical thinking is bad for you. According to studies, a ruminating mind can lead to an unhappy and unhealthy mind. Our monkey mind becomes unhappily entangled in replaying past events, resentments, or losses. This leads to harmful inflammatory stress chemicals, hormones, and almost every type of disease. Scientists can identify how ruminating can affect depression and other conditions such as cancer and heart disease. We are more affected by the stress chemicals we consume than the original cause.

Toxic thinking is not suitable for you. It’s like being caught on a spinning, circular ride at the fair, which was enjoyable for a few turns but makes you sick.

You want to get away. But you can’t.

We do everything we can to eliminate toxic substances from our lives. We avoid chemicals, buy organic food, clean our homes, and eat green. We put minimal effort into going green in our minds. What is the green solution to toxic thinking?

This research led me to insights that helped me stop spinning stories, worrying, worrying, or replaying thoughts about people and things.

These 15 simple but powerful ideas have worked for me. Many of these ideas are inspired by leaders in mindfulness psychology. You should choose the ones that resonate with you most.

How to get someone off your mind

1. Less is more. This is my motto. When dealing with someone reactive and difficult, it’s almost always smart to say less and let more time pass. This lets us calm down, let things go, and then take the positive path. The thing that we are annoyed about will often disappear over time.                                                                                                   
2. Let’s wait and see what happens next. Sometimes we feel the need to react immediately to situations or people that are difficult. This is why we often stew over what to do or say next. Instead, Buddhist psychologist Sylvia Boorstein recommends allowing ourselves to wait and watch what happens.                                                       
3. Stop playing the blame game. It is not productive to try and assign blame for past events (including yourself ). Most bad things and misunderstandings “happen” due to a series or domino effect. The result is not the fault of one individual. Sylvia Boorstein’s saying helps us to remember this truth: “First, this happened, then this happened, then this happened, then this happened.” That is how it happened.                                              
4. Avoid falling into the mind of others. This Sylvia Boorstein tip pretty much sums it all up.                              
5. Address your greatest problem. first Buddhist meditation instructor Norman Fischer says our biggest problem is our anger. Anger can cloud our ability to respond rationally and productively. Our biggest problem is our anger. Take care of yourself first–meditate, walk, exercise, and say less.                                                              
6. Anger can cause wrinkles in the mind. Sylvia Boorstein’s teaching is a continuation of this theme. When you are mad, it is impossible to think, be creative, or be thoughtful about how to deal with any situation. She says that anger “wrinkles the mind.” “You can’t be mad at anything if you want to think clearly.”                                        
7. Do not try to figure out others. Another Norman Fischer lesson. Think about this: How accurately do you think others would be able to determine your thoughts or motivations? They wouldn’t know what your thoughts are. Why try to find out what other people think? There are high chances that you will be wrong. This means that all of that ruminating is a huge waste of time.                                                                                                     
8. Thoughts are not facts. Could you not treat them like they are? Our emotions are anxiety and tension fear. Emotions are physical. This is often taken as an indication that our thoughts are true. It’s hard to feel so awful if these feelings aren’t true. Tsokyni Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist Tsokyni Rinpoche, teaches us that emotions like anger, worry, regrets, fear, anxiety, and fear can cause emotional hijacking. ”                                                           
9. What can you do to grow from this? A psychologist and teacher, Tara Brach, suggest that we add to our suffering by getting angry, taking offense, making judgments, or fuming how others treat us. An event + our reaction = suffering. Learning opportunities are created when we can be present with our emotions and ask why we feel so strongly. A learning opportunity is an event, inquiry, and presence. Your focus should be on growth. Not red, but green.                                                                                                                                                          
10. Never let anyone out of your heart. The Tara Brach lesson speaks for itself.                                                                                             
11. Time is not your friend. We often look back at past events to see if we could have prevented a mishap or a regrettable outcome. What happened yesterday is just as relevant as what happened a thousand years ago. We cannot change the past, nor can we change what happened last week.                                                                              
12. Forgiveness, for your sake. Buddhist psychologist Jack Kornfield says, “It’s not necessary to be loyal towards your suffering.” He says that we are so loyal to our suffering. It happened. It was terrible. Is that what makes you unique? We don’t forgive because we are sorry for another person. Forgiveness is necessary to let go of the pain and suffering caused by holding on to the past. Kornfield says, “Forgive me.”                                                           
13. Use imagery to calm your mind and stop worrying. This image works every time for me: Imagine yourself at the bottom of an ocean, watching everything move by. All of your thoughts will pass by you. Imagine that you are in the calm, deep, blue sea. This is a mantra that I find helps me relax.                                                                                          
14. Show them love and kindness. Wanda Lasseter -Lundy says that when you feel overwhelmed by thoughts about someone who has hurt you or is driving you crazy, you should “Imagine yourself sending them an amazing ball of white light.” Could you place them in the ball of light? You can surround them with that ball of light and hold the white light around their eyes until you feel calm. It’s possible. This works.                                                                     
15. Take a short break for 90 seconds. It would help if you first changed your thought patterns. According to neuropsychiatrist Dan Siegel, after 90 seconds, an emotion will rise and fall like waves on the shore. To shift from a mood state, including anger, takes only 90 seconds. You should give yourself 90 seconds to forget about the person or situation. That thought cycle has been broken, and so has your thoughts’ hold on you.